Flailing Chaos: 01/06/2012

I play Pathfinder. (In point of fact, I play a gnome sorcerer named KetKet.) Every Friday, five friends sit down and have dinner, laugh (sometimes until we cry), and go on epic adventures of insanity and awesomeness. Being the story-lover that I am, I decided it would be cool to keep a real-time journal of our characters' adventures and antics and read the latest chapter every new session as a way to recap what had happened and to remind us of what we were doing. However, I also took the opportunity every Friday night to record some of the most bizarre, hilarious quotes we've possibly ever uttered.

I have now gotten requests from some people to share this wonderfulness of Pathfinder recaps, so here it is, one session at a time. And by real-time writing, I mean that I scribbled this down while we were all actively playing, so don't blame me if you can't always follow along. At some point, I think, I'm going to polish it up - maybe I'll even turn it into a novella or something, because that would be fantastic. But at least the draft is here for now, so revel in the glory of Flailing Chaos!*

*group name not yet finalized, but it sounded the best from the suggestions we came up with so I'm using it here. :)


The bare-bones basics:

KetKet (K): gnome sorcerer - spunky and smart although bizarrely impulsive. Favorite weapon: Magic Missile. Chaotic Good

Sabel (S): elf alchemist - Intelligent and (usually) reserved (unless he's chucking bombs at you). Favorite weapon: Bombs. True Neutral

Thorngar (T): dwarf fighter - abysmally low charisma and modestly intelligent and a brutal axe-wielding monstrosity. Favorite weapon: Dwarven War Axe. Neutral Good

Awynn (A): human(?) cleric - pretty and intelligent but a compulsive liar and spookily good at unarmed combat. Favorite weapon: Sword or Fist. Chaotic Neutral


First Session:

(KetKet's observations of her companions - I had them at the end of the session, but I'll post them first so you have some clue as to who we are.)

S: The tall one. He's slow to act sometimes, and I think he might be a bit crazy. Probably from too much time inhaling potion fumes. But he's a good guy. Teases me a lot - maybe someday I'll color his fingernails when he's not looking. I hope he figures out a good poison recipe soon - I feel like I'm going to need it.

T: Wow. Crazy and awful looks. Has half his beard shaved off from some fight or other and he refuses to fix it (Note: it's actually cursed to grow that way forever now. :) ) Wears a monocle over one eye, and the other is a bit lazy. Has double mohawks - I think I will put some charms in his hair and see if he notices. Since he clearly loves to drink and can't keep a clear head, shouldn't be too hard. Hopefully he won't be quite as freaky then... Fights with a big axe, but I think he's almost as good just with his shield. Glad he's on my side.

A: Yay, another girl! She's confusing - keeps thinking she's a dwarf since they raised her, but she looks human to me. Short, but taller still than me - go figure. Good at fights. Also seems to worship some creepy god of nightmares - Pythe. Has a lot of scary dreams and stories. I'm glad I'm not her. Seems almost lost, not part of this world. Silly girl - you're always right where you are. It's figuring out how to make that place into somewhere that's the fun part. Good at healing injuries, too - with T around, this will be really important.


It's evening. We're at a tavern (the Boozy Cow) in town called Rysha (the town where K, A, S live). Having drinks with the locals like usual. K and S have lived here a while now, and are newly joined by T. (The Boozy Cow is the last tavern left for him, since it's the only one in town he hasn't been kicked out of for drunken brawling.) A works here as a barmaid - she's been here about a month (and not long ago helped T out during one of his previous tavern brawls, although T doesn't remember this at all...)

Table company had too much to drink, they start insulting us. T gets pissed when they comment on his half-beard. Brawl! Quickly escalates, locals get bloodied up. Two get knocked out by A and T, one stands his ground for a bit before falling. K tries and fails to settle the dispute, and when she distracts T with free beer, the local goes for the shank. T backhands him - drops him flat. S is mostly out of the fight. K hits the big guy before crawling under the table - she didn't start it... Another dude comes over to help and convinces the one remaining guy to get his friends and get out.

Hurried exit - run into the guards just outside and miraculously fool them into thinking the ragtag group of brawling drunks matching our description are still inside. We take off for A's place. Chased! A casts an obscuring mist to help lose the guards, but we lose T too. Oops. S and K hide in an alley while A goes back for T. Evades guards wandering around in the mist and rejoins S and K. Running again - K trips over boxes - "I meant to do that..." - before arriving safe at A's.

Meeting up - introductions and explanations, agreement to group up to explore the big deserted city-ruins nearby. Find out A was raised by dwarves, S disappointed his parents for choosing to study alchemy, K left the clan caravan for new adventures, and T is a blight upon dwarven kind because he can't hold his liquor. K bribes him to join up by offering him free beer - thus, K is now The Beerbringer.

Message?- Swanky-looking mysterious note slid under the door, telling us to steal info on 3 of the local Guilds from the city guards. If we do this, we get a job. Decisions made - K and T go to one of the 2 remaining (unlisted) Guilds, S and A to visit the other. Trying to figure out who sent the note and why.

Plan- We all go home: K to home/store, S to home/store, T to his ditch (but then takes A's kind offer of the spare bedroll at her place). Get our gear and meet up tomorrow at the Boozy Cow to go to the Guilds. But for now, sleep is in order.